(Seattle, Washington) The white dust of packing boxes coated Sharon’s fingers, but for the first time in a decade, her chest didn’t feel constricted. She taped down the final box labeled Living Room and wiped her hands on her jeans, looking around the bright ranch house she’d just bought. Down below, the clear, freezing, grey waters of Puget Sound pulsed with life under the cloudy Seattle sky.
For years, her world had been defined by a silent, crushing absence. Her eldest son, Victor, had quietly severed ties with her three decades ago. It hadn’t been a explosive argument, but a slow, calculated retreat until he simply stopped answering calls, stopped returning cards, and eventually believed the lies of those around him who envied his relationship with his mother. She had learned about his wedding through his public social media post, watching from a glowing phone screen as he smiled next to a bride she’d only met 3 times. The grandchildren were strangers to her and she was a stranger to them.
For a long time, Sharon had let that grief quietly pulsate in the background of her life. She had searched her memory like a crime scene, endlessly replaying his childhood to find where she had failed him, where she had failed herself. But grief, was an exhausting landlord. She had did her best and realized that relationships were a choice for all involved. It was not a loss after all. She considered it a test of whether or not her love for her family was of God or not. Turns out it wasn’t. No matter how much she loved her family, she loved God and His will for her life more. If it was God’s will she would reunite with her family in peace of the Holy Spirit. If not, it was okay because God’s way is the only way.
Fifteen years ago, she stopped paying rent to her family and the past. In her mind, her biological family no longer existed. The branch had snapped, falling away into the deep dark, and she was done trying to graft it back on. She was done trying to “figure” it all out. She decided if it was her business she would know and understand already. Her family were all adults and no longer her responsibility. Due to their choices she was released from all duties to them. It was a relief. How many times can you fight to help someone who doesn’t want nor appreciate your role in their life? A wise person knows when to walk away.
“You can love someone and still choose to leave them.” – Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
A sharp knock at the door jolted her from her introspections.
Before Sharon could even reach the handle, the door swung open, and Marcus stepped in carrying a heavy wooden dining table, his forehead slick with sweat. Behind him came Shirley, balancing two bags of takeout from Ezell’s on 23rd Avenue and E. Jefferson Street. (https://ezellschicken.com/) Then came Chloe, who was already issuing directions to her husband about where to set down the couch.
“Sharon, you were supposed to leave the heavy lifting to us,” Marcus chastised warmly, setting the table down with a thud. “You’re off duty today.”
“I only packed clothes, Marcus, calm down,” Sharon laughed, stepping forward to kiss his cheek.
Marcus wasn’t her son by blood. She’d met him four years ago when he was an anxious young line cook working at the Yesler Community Center where she volunteered. He’d grown up in foster care, aging out of the system without a single adult to call when his car broke down or when he finally got promoted to head chef. Sharon had invited him over for Sunday dinner. Then came Shirley, a bright software engineer whose own family across the country had disowned her when she came out as a lesbian. Then came Chloe, and Kathryn, and Sam…
Over the last few years, Sharon had built a family from scratch. Twelve adults, all navigating the world without a safety net, had found their anchor in her. And with them came their partners, their children, their stray dogs, and their messy, vibrant lives. She was “Mom” to twelve grown men and women, and “Grandma Cherry” to seven toddlers who routinely covered her rug in stray Lego bricks and goldfish crackers.
“Dinner is served!” Shirley announced, setting out paper bowls on the newly unpacked table. “And Mom, Kathryn is bringing the kids over after naptime to help you organize the kitchen.”
Sharon sat down amidst the clatter of chopsticks, the overlap of three different conversations, and the warmth of a room full of people who had actively chosen her with no regrets.
She looked out the window at the Seattle skyline. Somewhere out there in the world, Victor was living his own life, completely detached from hers. But the sharp, jagged edge of that fact no longer cut her as it once did. She had no questions nor concerns.
She took a sip of her Clearly Canadian Sparkling Water (Raspberry), let out a long, quiet breath, and felt something light and unfamiliar settle in her chest. It was peace. Simple, pure, and entirely earned. (https://clearlycanadian.com/)
Morale: Everything you think is “bad” is working out for your greatness because you love Adonai with your whole heart, mind, and spirit.
Life Through the Spirit
8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
9 You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. 10 But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life[d] because of righteousness. 11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of[e] his Spirit who lives in you.
12 Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Present Suffering and Future Glory
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
More Than Conquerors
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
- Romans 8:2 The Greek is singular; some manuscripts me
- Romans 8:3 In contexts like this, the Greek word for flesh (sarx) refers to the sinful state of human beings, often presented as a power in opposition to the Spirit; also in verses 4-13.
- Romans 8:3 Or flesh, for sin
- Romans 8:10 Or you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive
- Romans 8:11 Some manuscripts bodies through
- Romans 8:15 The Greek word for adoption to sonship is a term referring to the full legal standing of an adopted male heir in Roman culture; also in verse 23.
- Romans 8:15 Aramaic for father
- Romans 8:21 Or subjected it in hope. 21 For
- Romans 8:28 Or that all things work together for good to those who love God, who; or that in all things God works together with those who love him to bring about what is good—with those who
- Romans 8:36 Psalm 44:22
- Romans 8:38 Or nor heavenly rulers
