Don’t tell me… — The daily addict

What to do What to think What to wear Where to go What to be How to behave Who I should like What is appropriate What is possible Sincerely, –Your Soul

Don’t tell me… — The daily addict

Please do – Tell me what to do

while my body is juvenile
help me while I ‘m a child
please do
tell me what to do
and protect me too
until my soul can take the reins
show me how to behave
keep me alive
until I do
Help me
Please do
tell me what to do
tell me about you
share your memories with me
share how you came to believe
tell me if you can see
what’s before you
what’s before me
Please do
Tell me what to do

The Daily Addict poetry inspired me today. I know that I am not alone in this world and I want my soul friends to know that I never want to be without them helping me, speaking with me, protecting me…

I have had so many gut wrenching experiences. Things I just can not understand. For example, my Madea Willie Mae. Yesterday, I found out who my great grandparents are and what they did and where they were from. I remember how mean my Madea was to me because I was proof that our blood line was tainted. Although I am brown with a yellowish undertone to my skin. My Madea and here family were cold black with black straight hair and they wanted to keep these traits. It made them connected to the ancestors. As a child I told her that this is NOT the way human hair was. The actual human was completely different from all animals on the planet. Even as I type these words I can see what real humans looked like, how their hair was. It’s not the way we think of it today.

I tried to have conversations with Madea and she was appalled. I was abused by Madea and her family well because I was an embarrassment but then the others were also there. The Sisters and the Misters, my Uncle Chester – Madea paid for all the evil she did to me. She tried to kill me but instead she was the one who died because I had so many, many who knew her and her children. They watched them and her. They know what she did to me. They helped me. They told me what to do. The carried me the whole way through. They moved my world. They removed things from my world.

On February 22, 1970 I turned 4 years old. I can only imagine what happened to me. My Uncle Chester confronted Madea at her house and Houston Police shot him in the chest or Madea did four days later on February 26, 1970. I remember when the call came to my mother that Chester was shot and killed. My mother left us at our house and went to Madea’s house. I don’t remember anything but on his death certificate is Madea’s signature, his birth year is wrong on it…Any way, Uncle Chester’s birthday is April 3rd and on April 19th, 1973 Madea went missing. Yes, it’s on her death certificate that I was just able to find on yesterday. They are showing me the way. They are opening gates and turning lights on for me to see. They are showing me what I must do and I want them too.

Madea was missing for 10 days. Immediate cause of death Asphyxia. Secondary cause of death Drowning. Describe how injury occurred: Accidental drowning. There is all was. This MONSTER who terrorized me and my whole family was dead and how she died is now before my eyes all these decades after the fact. She was horrible to me. She was insane.

One day years before Joseph was killed I was talking to my Mom about Madea. Smiling she stated that Madea hated the way I looked at her. I turned to my Mom and replied that any grown woman who is reduced to anxiety by the way her 2 year old granddaughter looks at her is clearly saying, “Help me, I am out of my mind.”

When I said this to my Mom it was like the scales fell from her eyes and she understood that her Mother was mentally distressed. None of Madea’s children could accept that she was mentally ill whereas all of her husbands knew it and left her. The only husband I never heard of was Tom Bosier. Madea is buried next to him. They share a plot. He died in 1969. He died 3 years after I was born. My beloved Uncle Chester was killed in 1970. My sick Grand Mother died in 1973. I don’t think she ever received therapy or the medications she so desperately needed.

So many of our family and friends are suffering from traumas. Some of these traumas are too horrible for minds to recall them. Some of these traumas are phantoms who come to drag us back to moments of misery and pain through our sleep terrors and other mares we ride only at night. We wake in the mornings with dried trails of tears cutting a path from the corners of eyes over temples disappearing into hairlines for those who still have hair.

Willie Mae Bosier

Birth	1926 September 27th
Death	1973 April 19th
Burial	Paradise South Cemetery Pearland, Brazoria County, Texas, USA Show Map
Memorial ID	205473509·View Source

In 1973, when my grand mother drowned in Galveston, Texas the water was still blue.

Shawn McClemore’s homegoing service is happening on October 16, 2021 at Greater Grace in Houston, Texas.