I took the child because
My Mamma told me to
The child was light
My Mom said I had to
The girl was farmed out
As Mamma wanted to do
That was 50 years ago
I’m telling you the truth
The child won’t die
Although I’ve tried
The adopted has pulled through
The child is loved
The child is protected
What else can I do?
I’m about to die
I’ve lived and lied
I never told the child the truth.
When I was still a teenager and newly married my Mother came to my house and gave me a little boy baby to take care of. She said it was to keep me company because my husband was gone most of the time. I had begged my Mother to spend more time around me, instead she brought me a baby like it was a new puppy.
I was in shock but my Mother was watching my reaction closely. How could I tell her that she must be out of her mind? I smiled and said, “Thank You”. What else could I do? Call the police? Leave the baby somewhere to be found by God knows what? What about my Dad? Well, I had gone to him when I won state in Basketball. I was so happy and proud! I thought finally he might love me because I was a winner…it made no difference. He behaved like nothing had changed. There was no dinners with friends, no parties, not even a kind word. My grandmother threw me a barbecue and bought my class ring but my Mom and my Dad gave no response.
So, here I was now holding a little baby boy in my arms and smiling at my Mother. I knew she must be out of her mind. What could I do? When my Husband came home and saw the child he thought I was baby sitting to make extra money. When I told him that the child was given to me as a gift from my Mother, he attacked me.
My Husband despised my Mother and Father. He wanted me to be a dutiful wife and there was my Mother bringing me some baby off the streets and my Father, the great silent watcher. I suppose it was a shock to him. I was in a difficult life. I could not be accepted by his family because they were mostly men. My husband could not protect me from the men in his family nor could he scare my parents into being decent human beings.
The little baby was company for me. I couldn’t have children of my own at least I hadn’t gotten pregnant even though I had married right after high school. So I adored this baby. It changed my marriage though. When my Mother brought the second child, a little girl…my Husband packed up all his clothes and left me.
Now I was alone with two little children. I was so depressed having to move back to my grandmother’s home. I couldn’t even tell her that I now hated those two children. I couldn’t tell her that my Mother brought them to me to ruin my marriage. I loved my husband. I was proud of him and his dreams for having his own company.
He had a way with people. He cared about people because of his own upbringing. I was raised alone with another little boy who was born 3 months before me. My Husband was one of 13 boys. As his wife, I was special to him. We both had no clue about adult lives and the situations family can put you in. We didn’t know how to respond properly because these disrespectful people were people that we loved. They were our family.
Within ten years everything changed. My Mother died. My Father remarried. I gave birth to triplets who died of cribs deaths. My grandmother died. The boy that I grew up with was shot in the chest. My Husband divorced me.
The two adopted children? What happened to them? They made a pack in high school and committed suicide. They have haunted my house now for 50 years. They appear during days and nights. They stand close together holding hands and whisper to each other saying, “She doesn’t know she was adopted.”

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